Mar 15, 2016

Wedding Q & A: Most important lessons in the first 2 years of marriage


Welcome back to another round of wedding Q & A with the sweet married blogging ladies that volunteered to answer different questions from engaged gals. I loved reading the responses to today's question because I've only been married 5 months and have a lifetime to learn more about more about how to love my husband well. So it was a treat to learn what married women (who have been married much longer than I have) share what they've learned about marriage. 

Without further ado, here is the complete question from a bride-to-be:

What would you say were the most important things you've discovered in your first 2 years of marriage that you wish someone would've told you about?

"Marriage truly is fun! So many people told me how hard it was and how much work it is but if you choose for your marriage to be different it can be! See THIS blogpost for more on this topic."
-Tiffany Brooks Currie, blogs at www.pinkfaithtoday.blogspot.com , married 4.5 years


"To not sweat the small stuff.  Learning to live with someone (if you didn't prior to wedding), is hard.  Take it slow and don't judge your spouse when you recognize a fault or see something you didn't anticipate or don't like.  Accept him for who he is, warts (and farts) and all.  If you will, you will free yourself to love him unconditionally and that will strengthen your marriage."
Kimberly Bradley, married 7 years. Blogs at The Narrow Lens (www.thenarrowlens.com)


"I learned that giving 100% would look different for each spouse at different times.  When we moved out of state and away from everyone we loved so my husband could take a new job doing something he’d never done before, my 100% was “bigger” than his.  He gave everything he had to me and to our marriage, but I was the support spouse, I had to be strong for him, and it was a lot of work and stress.  When my depression got to be crippling, my 100% was pretty feeble, but his 100% was enough to help me find my way out and keep our home and marriage afloat.  Over the last seven years, I think it has balanced out to where we have an “even” marriage, but in snippets of time, it didn’t always look even or equal.  And that’s perfectly fine. :-) "
- Katie Hodge, married 6.5 years; Blogs at  www.alwayskatie.com


"The most important thing I discovered during the first 2 years of marriage was the power of praying for my husband. The joy of marriage is you get to go through life with your lover, your partner. But sometimes life throws curveballs and challenges... and sometimes life throws surprises and opportunities! Through it all, I have learned that praying for my husband gets us through anything. I pray for him to be strong, smart, and to be the leader of our family. If I could give any new bride a tip, it would be to pray for her husband. God is truly amazing!"
- Justine @ Charm City Ciemny's, 10 years with her husband and married for 2 years. Blogs at


"Men are different than women. I figured that after four years of dating long distance (and the lots of communication that went along with it), I knew him pretty well. I thought I had him all figured out.
But truly knowing a person is pretty impossible- there are so many facets of a human soul, and I’m still learning about him. 
Men are different. They don’t need love, so much—more central in their minds is respect. Respecting your husband, no matter what, is super difficult because it doesn’t come naturally to women, but it’s a vital part of marriage. I’d really (really) recommend the book Love and Respect early in your marriage to help you with this concept- it worked wonders for me."
- Ally Vermeer blogs at www.thespeckledgoatblog.com; married 4 years


"As two unique individuals, you’ll want different things at times, and as you grow in life there will be so many choices you have to make FOR each other, whether or not it’s what you would do if you were single. Where you live, the job you have, the trips you take, how you spend your holidays, what TV shows you watch, what side of the bed you sleep on! You are sharing your life with someone, and those first two years have growing pains for sure. It gets better. Just be open & honest, and know that it is important to always take time for yourself. It is only when you are at your best, that your marriage can be at its best."
- Alicia Murphy, married 4.5 years, blogs at www.theamgrindonline.com


"I realized that we both do things really differently. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. We both grew up in different households where we got used to the way things were done. It's ok if your husband doesn't clean the house in the same order as you do or if you fold clothes and towels differently than he does. If you are willing to work as a team to get things done, it doesn't matter how they get done!
The other thing I learned is that an official, planned date night is important, no matter what your stage in life is. Make date night a priority and make it an event that strengthens your marriage! Continuing to date each other will keep your marriage strong!"
- Amberly Lambersen, married 4.5 years, blogs at www.aprioritizedmarriage.com

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Further Reading:


Making Marriage Work  by Every Season Woman Blog

10 Things I've Learned About Marriage by For The Love Of Tuna Blog

The Best Way I Can Love My Spouse by Heartnatured Blog

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Catch up on the previous Engagement/Wedding Q & A HERE  
& the posts on Singleness HERE



4 comments:

  1. What a fun post, I loved reading all of the unique looks on marriage. I'll be married three years this fall and my how the years have flown by.

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    1. hi P!nky! Thanks so much for your comment! I really enjoyed everyone's perspectives as well! I have only been married 5 months so it was fun hearing from women who have been married longer!

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  2. I think the biggest lesson I learned in those years was not to be overly dramatic! :P Probably every year after the first one has been more peaceful because of that...

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    1. That's such a good one! I can be dramatic too and I want to learn how to tone that down, especially during hard conversations where my dramatic-ness can turn ugly, such as being sarcastic.

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I love to hear your thoughts!

Elle Alice