May Book Reviews

Dans La Prairie by Claude Monet (1876) shows Camille (Monet's wife) reading in a lush meadow

Counting the Cost: A Memoir by Jill Duggar Dillard (audiobook) ★★★★★

I didn't ever watch an episode of 19 Kids and Counting or any of the spin-offs, but I often saw the Duggar family pop up on tabloid covers while in line at the grocery store  and had a vague understanding of their conservative family when I'd see photos of the girls in long skirts. I didn't have any intense interest in reading this memoir until I decided on a whim to watch the Shiny Happy People documentary on Amazon Prime while working on some sewing projects (my only time I watch anything on my own these days). I was interested in hearing both Jill and Jinger's perspective on their childhood, especially since it was heavily influenced by Bill Gothard of IBLP (Institute of Basic Life Principles), which was the main focus of the documentary. Jill shared some deeply personal experiences of hurt within her family, particularly with her dad, Jim Bob, being controlling about the finances and time commitment  for the show when Jill was a married adult. I really appreciated her honesty and her healing journey as she pursued Christian counseling to help her heal from past sexual abuse and emotional hurt, many of which was perpetuated from being under the scrutiny of the public eye (and having the most personal details of her childhood sexual abuse  by her older brother splattered on tabloids when the police report was leaked out). I applauded her for forging her own path that would benefit and protect her growing family with her husband and sons. I think it was very brave of her to write this memoir, though I could understand why some of her family, particularly her dad, would not be supportive of so much personal family conflict being shared by her. But in the end, he chose to expose his family to the world by inviting the cameras (and the world) through his reality TV show, so his daughter has every right to share her side and her journey to find her voice and her own understand of God away from the destructive teaching of the IBLP. I read this in a day because it was just so fascinating.

Content rating: PG (vague, non-descriptive references to sexual abuse)

Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear by Jinger Duggar Vuolo (audiobook) ★★★★★

After reading Jill's memoir, I wanted to to also hear her sister Jinger's perspective, so I started it a day later  and sped through it because it was also fascinating and so well-written. I didn't ever watch an episode of 19 Kids and Counting or any of the spin-offs, but I often saw the Duggar family pop up on tabloid covers while in line at the grocery store cashier and had a vague understanding of their conservative family. I didn't have any interest in reading either book until I decided on a whim to watch the Shiny Happy People documentary on Amazon Prime while working on some sewing projects (my only time I watch anything on my own these days). Her book is less of a memoir (like Jill's book) and more of a treatise against Bill Gothard and his IBLP teachings. She goes into detail about how each of his supposedly life-giving principles actually shackled her in fear because the gospel message was not prominent in the many strict rules for living. She feared God would punish her for any sin she committed if she didn't live the "right" way that Gothard demanded. She explains the joy and freedom she experienced when she starting courting and eventually marrying her husband, who helped her look at Bill Gothard's teaching against the Bible and see where it was lacking and even damaging to the Christian. I found it interesting that she left out any blame on her parents, who closely followed and promoted Bill Gothard/IBLP and instead, she laid all the blame on Bill Gothard himself. I think she did this to protect and honor her parents, but it was a bit confusing at times because even though it was Bill Gothard's conferences, homeschool curriculum, and other resources that guided her faulty understanding of the Bible and how she should live, it was her parents that provided these resources and upheld them as truth, so they definitely were accountable for leading her to focus so much on legalism and a false sense of righteousness, but I will let them discuss that within their family rather than expecting she dish out her disagreements publicly (which Jill did in her memoir in her own way, and I don't think it was necessarily disrespectful). I related to some of Jinger's struggles with legalism and experienced so much freedom when I starting understanding Jesus' grace more fully as a young adult, so I really enjoyed reading this faith journey and appreciated how in depth she went with separating Bill Gothard's legalistic teachings to what true Christianity is all about.

Content rating: G

The Hidden Art of Homemaking: Creative Ideas for Enriching Everyday Life by Edith Schaeffer ★★★★★

This is my second reading of this incredibly practical and inspiring book (first time was in 2020). Edith and her husband Francis created a Christian community in the Swiss Alps several decades ago, L'Abri, and helped many answer questions about God and Christianity. In this  book, she points out a plethora of creative ways to brighten ordinary days with beauty, adventure, and ultimately, pointing our creativity back to the Creator God. The chapters are organized by different areas of art, including music, painting/sketching/sculpturing, interior design, gardening, flower arranging, food, writing (prose and poetry), drama, creative recreation, clothing,  and environment. Most of her ideas are incredibly simple, either free or very inexpensive, and easy to try whether you're single, married, a mother, or an empty-nester.  Published in 1971, it reads timelessly; I had to keep reminding myself it is nearly fifty years old because it seemed so applicable and easy-to-follow. Reading it for the second time, I can see how so much of my own homemaking (and trying to add beauty and creativity in the "mundane") has been inspired by this book.

Content rating: G

Remembering by Wendell Berry (audiobook) ★★★☆ ☆

Several of Berry's Port William novels focus or at least mention Andy Catlett, who in this later novel is a shell of his younger years. Handicapped (he lost a hand in a farming accident) and disillusioned about the direction of farming in America, he leaves home and tries to find his way in San Francisco, where he is supposed to give a big talk during a conference. The book jumps from present to past memories, mostly about his accident, his marriage, and his highs and lows of farming. There is a distinct juxtaposition between the capitalist, industrial farming, which Berry often wrote against because of how disconnected it was from the preservation of the land, in comparison to modest, old fashioned farming (displayed through an important scene where Andy interviews an Amish farmer). It was sometimes hard to follow the timeline with all the jumping around, but with a title like Remembering, I suppose all the flashbacks made sense. Not my favorite of Berry's novel (Hannah Coulter will always hold that spot), but an interesting view on agriculture in America over the decades with its difficulties to keep up and adjust to the changing times. Published in 2010, I am sure Berry has even more to say about it today since he has been farming for decades in Kentucky. 

Content rating: PG (I think a curse word or two)

The Last Exchange by Charles Martin ★★★★★

I always know I am in for an emotional rollercoaster with Martin's books. I trust him as an author since I know he doesn't have gratuitous sex scenes or language to worry about (he is a Christian author). I also know there is always a redemptive story, even if it doesn't end with all the bows tied neatly. So this latest novel of his followed that game plan, but was quite the ride along the way.  The reader starts off with very little information the first chapter when a world-famous actress is kidnapped. You quickly realize she has a an Oxycodone addiction and that she's trying to negotiate with someone via texts because something precious has been stolen from her. The rest of the book jumps from present day (what happens after she is kidnapped) to past events that led up to this moment. It doesn't really make sense until later in the book, so it kept me guessing along the way. Full of suspense (which, if you've read Martin's Letter Keeper trilogy about human trafficking, is something he is really good at), it was fast-paced and dialogue-driven, taking you along for a very crazy ride until the last page. 

Content rating: PG (lots of references to prescription drug addiction)

Triggers: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake ★★★★★

I have read this book twice now, and still find it just as great as the first reading. This book, especially alongside the study guide (which I purchased separately) were incredibly helpful in recognizing and working through some triggers that lead me to angry reactions to my kids. It is Gospel-centered and focuses more on the parent's ownership of their anger rather than focusing on the child's behavior. There are plenty of good tips and suggestions to try, but it's not primarily a book of tips, but rather, digs deep at issues like selfishness, need for control, pride and other sinful roots to some of our anger. It is grace-filled rather than condemning, but it definitely convicted me towards prayerful change. I will be using this as a resource for years to come. The book is divided in two, with internal (like sleep-deprivation, stress, etc)  and external triggers (too much noise, disobedience from a child, etc).

Content rating: G

The Life of a Children's Troubadour: An Autobiography by Raffi ★★★★★

My children and I enjoy Raffi's music and play it often in our home, so I have been curious about the man behind the fun children's tunes. An Armenian who grew up in Cairo, Egypt with a father who was a top portrait photographer and painter for prestigious world leaders. They emigrated to Toronto, Canada when he was in grade-school and his parents had to start from scratch, but eventually made a name for themselves there too. In his adulthood, after a hippie stint exploring Canada on foot and trying his hand in the folk music scene, he started working on music for children. With his wife's teaching experience as well as two good friends (also educators) who helped him understand childhood development and create age-appropriat, engaging music for young children, Raffi became known around North America for his catchy tunes. His music career has spanned over four decades, which is impressive. He developed a passion for ecology/environmentalism, which is expressed in many later albums. His autobiography was incredibly interesting. Rather than focusing only on him and his rising stardom, he takes lots of detours to share his heart on different matters. The first part of the book, for example, goes pretty deep in the violence against Armenians by Turks that directly affected Raffi's grandparents. A lot of pages are spent on talking about his family, most notably his father's portraiture photography business, which I felt was a way for him to honor his parents after their passing (this book was written shortly after their death; his mom and dad died within twenty-four hours of one another). He also digs deep in the issues he is passionate about, from decreasing screens and advertisements for children (he often denied lucrative commercial deals because he didn't want to promote materialism through his work, nor promote kids sitting hours in front of TV watching him rather than playing and exploring), to environmentalism (he spends the most time discussing the issues facing our environment and the detrimental effects to earth that pollution, chemicals in our food, wasteful living pose for our children's future). He was very interested in honoring the whole child, rather than talking down to them or creating entertaining but ultimately too shallow music. Although he grew up in a strict Orthodox family, he later landed more in spiritualism, with yoga and meditation being a way to have inner peace he so desired. This part made me sad because he talked about a season of sadness after some big life changes and I so wish he would have known the endless love and true peace of Jesus rather than trying to search for it in so many avenues.  His integrity and intentionality shine through the book, though he readily admits his own faults and doesn't try to make himself look flawless. I especially enjoyed when he would talk about how he wrote certain songs, like one of my kids' favorite, Baby Beluga (the first song we listened to by Raffi) and the funny stories behind some of the albums (like the pun-filled Bananaphone, another favorite of my kids, and the hilarious Raffi Radio album). I really enjoyed a look behind this musician, especially since we listen to so much of his music in our home (and love the board books that have the lyrics of his songs, like Baby Beluga, Everything Grows, Rise and Shine, and Shake My Sillies Out). I was relieved that I didn't find out anything shocking or disturbing about Raffi that would turn me away from his music; instead, reading his autobiography endeared me even more to him and his legacy of music and honoring the whole child. 

Content rating: G 

I Can't Believe You Just Said That: Biblical Wisdom for Taming Your Child's Tongue by Ginger Hubbard★★★★☆ 

I read Don't Make Me Count to Three last spring with some ladies and took away some great tips and overall heart check regarding discipline, but also had some areas I didn't fully agree with at the time ( (which I reviewed HERE). I also bought the affordable and useful Wise Words for Mom cheat-sheet with Bible verses and heart-probing questions that address various issues like complaining, disobedience, tattling, etc. I was curious about this more recent book of Hubbard's and decided to give it a listen. I really appreciated how closely aligned in was with the Wise Words for Mom resource. I was able to write-in additional questions, Bible verses to reference about specific issues, as well as ways to practice by re-enacting certain situations. The seventeen chapters are relatively short and follow a similar layout: an example of the offending behavior through a story, understanding the heart of the matter (why the issue is often rooted in sin), heart probing questions to ask, reproving your child for that behavior with Scripture, and ways to train your child to walk in a way that honors God and people around them. There were some great tips and overall good food for thought, especially the reminder to see some of these sins in my own life first before trying to weed them out from my children's lives. Behavior issues covered: whining, lying, tattling, defying, manipulating, interrupting, complaining, blame-shifting, teasing, aggravating, bragging, arguing, yelling, gossiping, and bickering. One big piece of advice she gives is to not use Scripture like a weapon and out of anger. These gospel-centered conversations using Scripture should help point them towards the forgiveness and grace of God when they see their own sin. Scripture shouldn't be used like a hammer thumping them over the head and breeding shame. These conversations should be when the parent has self-control of their own emotions and can correct and teach out of love and patience rather than an emotional-fueled rant. And many times, it may not feel nature or the right time to mention Scripture and focus on the behavior at hand. Also, I feel like I need to remind myself often, when using resources like this book and the cheat-sheet: it's not my words or my consequences that will change my kids' hearts; it's ultimately the only Spirit that does that work. So I can't expect this resource, as helpful as it can be, to be a magic bullet to a perfectly behaving child. Also, I often remind my 4-year old, he can't do any of the things I am asking him (have self-control, obey, respect and protect his little sister even when she knocks down his blocks, etc) without the help of the Holy Spirit. I want him to feel empowered that he can choose to do the right thing because of God's presence and power rather than his own willpower he can try to muster up by himself. So while heart probing questions, role-playing correct behavior after misbehaving, administering age-appropriate consequences, and using Scripture to help guide the child to truth can all be helpful tools, as a mom I need to constantly lead myself and my kids to humbling seek God's help in learning to walk in a way that honors Him, shows love to those around us, and ultimately brings joy and peace. 

Content rating: G

Peter Rabbit's Giant Storybook by Beatrix Potter★★★★★

This delightful storybook contains fourteen of the twenty-three original Beatrix Potter tales. My 4.5 year old and I have been reading different stories from the collection the last two years and finally finished it. It didn't take so long because we didn't like it; on the contrary, there were many we just kept returning to over and over (such as The Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Tale of Benjamin Bunny, The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin, and The Tale of Samuel Whiskers).  We especially love watching episodes from the adorable 1996 BBC cartoon series that follows the stories perfectly and even impressively created the illustrations to match Potter's (HERE is the Peter Rabbit episode). These stories are long, so they are probably suited for reading to preschoolers and up, unless you have a toddler who absolutely loves read alouds and can sit still (like my boy was and still is,  if the story is captivating). The stories are amusing and delightful for both children and adults, so I thoroughly enjoyed reading these stories and acting some of them out together. The language is often pretty advanced since they were written in the early 1900s when even children's literature used beautiful and advanced language. But my son was able to follow along without much explanation because of the sweet illustrations and the overall context of the story, so it didn't keep him from understanding or enjoying the tales at all.  This was one of my best book sale finds ever: I bought a large, like-new copy for a dollar!! 

Content rating: G

Classics Club:  64/75. See my whole list HERE

The Bucket List Family Travel: Share the World with Your Kids on 50 Adventures of a Lifetime by Jessica Gee★★★★★

I have followed The Bucket List Family's YouTube account on and off the past six years or so, inspired by their family adventures to exotic places and their nomadic life of full-travel (now they aren't full-time since their kids are in school and they have community and a home in Hawaii). Now in this recently published book, partnered with the fitting and iconic National Geographic, Jessica shares a ton of great tips as well as itineraries for budding traveling families. She starts with a section on planning (packing for all ages, money-saving tips, what kind of traveler are you?, etc), followed by a section on actually traveling (adjusting to time differences, staying healthy and safe, personality traits, etc), and finally, the third section is devoted to the fifty itineraries spanning all over the world. I loved gaining new knowledge and adding things to my to-do list for my own family's upcoming international trip as well as enjoying the jaw-dropping photography by Jessica's husband, Garrett. It was fun re-visiting some of my favorite places in the world through their itineraries (Cannon Beach, Oregon; Paris, France; London, UK; Lake Tahoe, Ca; and Florence, Italy; Oahu, Hawaii) while also vicariously traveling to places that have long been on my own bucket list (Banff, Canada; Greek Islands, Alaska to name a few). Although many of their adventures would be out of our budget (they are often sponsored and have lucrative partnerships with companies so they stay at places like the Ritz-Carlton), they still mention more affordable options when possible. They love water sports and especially swimming with whales and sharks, which is not my cup of tea, so it was fun reading about adventures I likely wouldn't ever do but still enjoy reading about other people doing. I also loved that they often mentioned service opportunities in different countries since that is a big part of their traveling (giving back and not just thinking of themselves). I love how connected they are as a family. They are wholesome and just so fun to watch on YouTube and the same vibes were definitely in the book as well. 

Content rating: Gee (pun intended)