Picture Books About Emotions, Manners, and Social Skills
Life can be confusing and overwhelming for kids at times. They don't fully understand social cues, manners, or how to control their big emotions. These are important skills that will benefit them personally as well as the people around them, so it is great to start introducing these skills early on. Inspiring them with great books is a great way to help children see what these skills look like in everyday situations. These books have all been a great help for my 3.5 year old. We started reading most of them around two-years old and revisit them from time to time as needed for a refresher. They have age-appropriate text, bright and fun illustrations that depict everyday situations the child can relate to, providing great examples of ways to practice the new skills. For parents, many of them have a few pages at the end for ways to implement more practice. Most of these books should be available at your local public library, or if not, they can be found on used book websites like Abes Books for only a few dollars. Another option is to put them on a birthday or Christmas wishlist for family to purchase if they want gift ideas. I will include a YouTube link for the books that have read-aloud options, so you can listen to the book before checking out/buying a physical copy, or for a fun option of watching it with your child (we listen to read-alouds during lunch sometimes when I am too tired to read aloud or busy feeding the baby).
How to Apologize (by David LaRochelle; illustrated by Mike Wohnoutka)
A child's attention will be caught with the humorous illustrations of animals doing things they later apologize for, from a snail who was running so fast he stepped on a sloth's toe to a porcupine popping his friend's balloon. And their attention will remain as they read the text that dives into why, when, and how to apologize. This was a great resource for me to know how to help Elliot learn to apologize with specifying what he is apologizing for, and helped him see the good results of what can happen when you say you're sorry and mean it. Here's a YouTube read-aloudAge recommendation: Toddler to elementary
When Charley Met Emma (by Amy Webb; illustrated by Merrilee Liddiard)
Age recommendation: Preschool to elementary
What Am I Feeling? (by Dr. Josh and Christi Straub; illustrations by Jane Butler)
A simple, sweet story of a boy who is nervous about talking in front of class during show-and-tell. At school, other kids are experiencing various emotions, from jealousy to anger and sadness. This helpful phrase is repeated a couple times "a feeling is just a feeling. It is not in charge of you. Take a deep breath. Name your feeling, and ask God to help you with it." There's also a large emotions chart that you can detach and use in your home! YouTube read-aloud
Age recommendation: toddler to kinder
Planting Seeds of Kindness (by Rose Bunting; illustrated by John John Bajet)
Age recommendation: infant through preschool
What Should Danny Do? series (by Ganit and Adit Levy, illustrated by Mat Sadler)
These three books (all titled What Should Danny Do, but the second is subititled "At School", and the third is subtitled "On Vacation) are Elliots new favorite books. We have read them each multiple times and he won't tire of them. Danny is a superhero-in-training and his most powerful super power is his Power to Choose. With the child's help, he can end up having a great day or a hard day. The books are each "choose-your-adventure" type of books (does anyone remember reading those as kids??) where you go along with Danny and help him choose wise or unwise choices, and you see the results of those choices. For example, Danny (and the reader) have to choose whether to get mad when his brother is using his favorite plate at breakfast, or just to let it go and ask to use it next time). You flip to the appropriate page and then more choices are made throughout the story, with a possible 8-9 endings for each book! It's a brilliant idea and has really helped Elliot learn the benefits of making wise, safe, and kind choices. We use the verbiage of having "the power to choose" a lot now. Here's a YouTube sample read by the author!
Age recommendation: preschool through elementary
Toddler Tools series (by Elizabeth Verdick)
(Age recommendation: young toddlers through preschool; very short phrases on each page)
Manners Time
Introduces manners, particularly phrases like "thank you", "you're welcome", "excuse me", and "No thank you". YouTube read-aloud
Germs Are Not For Sharing
Good intro to germs and when to wash hands, cover a cough, throw food away that has fallen to the floor, etc. YouTube read-aloud
Calm-Down Time
A great intro to teaching self-calming, from labeling emotions like sad and mad to taking deep breaths, going to a quiet place, asking a parent to hug them or giving themselves a big squeeze, listening to music, and rocking their body side to side. YouTube read-aloud
Listening Time
A great way to teach young kids the importance of listening when an adult is speaking, with particular focus on a school/ daycare setting. Phrases like "zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket" along with other skills. YouTube read-aloud
Mealtime
Helps kids understand manners and routines at mealtime. You-tube read-aloud
Hands Are Not For Hitting (by Martine Agassi)
A good book to discuss gentle hands and not hitting. The book focuses a lot of the fun, helpful, and and loving things we can do with our hand, then repeats that hands are not for hitting because hitting hurts and is not kind. YouTube read-aloud
Others books in the series that I have not yet read:
Teeth Are Not for Biting
Feet Are Not For Kicking
Hands are Not for Hurting
Diapers Are Not Forever
Voices Are Not for Yelling
Bye- Bye Time
Clean-Up Time
Pacifiers Are Not Forever
Learning to Get Along series by Cheri J. Meiners M.Ed.
(Age recommendation: a bit long, so probably best for ages 2 through school age, depending on your child's comprehension)
Cool Down and Work Through Anger
Concrete skills for working through anger, such as self-calming, thinking, getting help from a trusted adult, apologizing, talking and listening, and viewing others positively. YouTube read-aloud
Share and Take Turns
How and why to share are discussed. Concrete examples including using a phrase to tell the other child they're not done playing yet, waiting for a turn, offering a toy to trade, and many more. YouTube read-aloud
Be Polite and Kind
Lots of great examples of showing kindness, respect, and good manners, from saying "Thank you" to respecting feelings of others. YouTube read-aloud
Know and Follow the Rules and Be Careful and Stay Safe
These two books had lots of examples for school-age children, so they were helpful for introducing topics, but weren't as easy apply when Elliot was younger. Now as we re-read them at 3.5 years old, he understands them a lot better.
Other books in the series I haven't read:
Respect and The Care of Things
Join In and Play
Understand and Care
Try and Stick with It
Be Honest and Tell the Truth
When I Feel Afraid
Connoisseur Kids: Etiquette, Manners, and Living Well for Parents and Their Little Ones by Jennifer L. Scott
Age recommendation: kinder through middle school (portions can be used beforehand, but text is pretty advanced for toddlers)
Practice, Practice, Practice
When using these books, I try to make time throughout the day, when we are calm and not in a hurry, to practice the skills we are learning about in one book at a time. Trying to learn too many new social skills at a time is overwhelming, so start small. Role playing is Elliot's favorite way to practice. We use stuffed animals, cars, and ourselves as the actors. I either make up a story based on something that happens in the book (ex: an illustration of a boy and girl having trouble sharing) or I make something up on the fly and we practice that skill, whether sharing, manners, calming down, etc. It always helps to bring in favorite characters (like Lightning McQueen from Disney's Cars, Elliot's favorite) to bring some fun with the learning. It sometimes helps acting out the undesired behavior to show how the story doesn't end up as positively when that choice is made (when he chooses not to share, he ends up alone or hurt, for example). I am hoping that practicing the new habits and behaviors as well as discussing why they are important new skills will help make it easier to choose during stressful situations (being frustrated, a child taking a toys away, wanting to give up when something is hard, etc.) to choose the new skill.
Preparing a child before a situation is also very helpful practice. About fifteen minutes before a friend comes over, I will often practice with Elliot what he'll say to welcome his friends. We walk over to the front door and I pretend to be his friend who came over for a playdate and he says "Thank you for coming to my house" or "welcome in!" Then I just do a quick refresher through questions or role-playing about sharing and taking turns, since I anticipate there might be instances when they'll want the same toy. This just-before practice helps the skills be fresh on his mind, making it easier to choose to use them. Ultimately, he has the power to choose or not choose them, of course, and heightened emotions can make it hard to remember practiced skills, but the more we practice through fun ways, the more I believe he will be able to implement these skills even when he is upset.
Another good time to practice the new skill is after a missed opportunity or undesired behavior. After your child has calmed down, you can practice what they can do next time while the situation is still fresh on their mind. If your child hit or bit during a playtime, practice safer alternatives. If your child had a long tantrum over being denied a snack they wanted, practice deep breathing or finding something to do for them to get their mind off of that thought. We can use "failures" to our advantage as opportunities to grow.
Along with practicing, you can also help your kids notice when those skills are practiced by others. If there is a friend who was kind to a girl on the playground, mentioning that to your child ("Wasn't it so sweet that he invited that boy to play with you? He was smiling, so I think he enjoyed playing with you boys!") and when you see that skill shown in a book or movie ("I love how Rainbow Fish decided to share his colorful scales in the end. He ended up being happier than when he kept all the scales, plus the fish around him were happy to have their own colorful scales too!").
Giving Kids Grace When They Miss An Opportunity
These are not books affiliated with any religion, so there isn't any mention of God, which is totally fine because I don't expect that from these books and can still appreciate them immensely as valuable resources. But I am a Christian, so I often add a short reminder for Elliot when reading these books and practicing the skills, or when he misbehaves that God can help us to learn these skills and He can help us want to be kind/gentle/respectful, etc. These are hard skills to master and he will forget or he just will outright choose not to use them sometimes, especially if he is really upset when the situation occurs. I don't expect perfection; he isn't a robot to program to always show good manners, share, stay calm, etc. Just like me, he will often fail, but that's not the end of the story. I miss opportunities to do what is right (whether keeping calm, being patient, etc), so I need to give him grace when he struggles. It's unfair and unrealistic to think once I tell him to share and he reads a book about sharing, he'll share every time. Some days he won't want to share or say a kind word. Sometimes he will be exhausted from a missed nap, hungry, overstimulated, or other factors that can make it even harder to listen to instructions and choose respectful behavior. So when a missed opportunity occurs, I can give him a lot of grace and patience, pray for him, give him examples when I have messed up, and remind him that God is able to help him (and me) learn these important new skills. I pray some parts of this prayer everyday aloud to Elliot to help take off the pressure that it's all on him to learn these social skills and to remind him he can choose what is right because God can help him want to do it and give him the power to do it: "God, we can't always choose what is right without Your help. It is so hard sometimes and we don't want to do it. We need you. You can help us listen/be kind/share/be attentive because You are stronger than all our emotions and love us. I am sorry I ______. Thank you for forgiving me. And because Jesus died and rose again, I have the Holy Spirit to help me desire/want to do what is right/ what is safe/ what honors God and others. God, help us say "Yes" to wise choices and "No" to wrong ones that can hurt or disrespect others. Help us have self-control even when it is really hard and we want our own way instead of Your way. Because of You, we can do hard things. Thank you for helping us, loving us, and giving us the power to choose to do what honors you and is kind and respectful to others".
______________________
I would LOVE to hear if you have favorite books about manners, emotional regulation, social skills, etc!
Comments
Post a Comment
I love to hear your thoughts!
Elle Alice