Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker (audiobook) ★★★★☆

This is the fascinating yet heartbreaking story of the Galvin family, plagued with schizophrenia. Out of the twelve children (ten boys and two girls), six of them (all boys) had varying degrees of the horrific mental illness, debilitating them in serious ways and casting a shadow on the rest of the family. The children started exhibiting symptoms around the 1960s and by the 1970s, all six of them had the diagnosis and were on strong medications to combat their symptoms, many of which made them dangerous to themselves and others. During a time when research on schizophrenia was trying to find the cause (and mostly blaming it on the mother), the big question was whether this horrifying mental illness was caused by nature vs nurture --- or a combination of both. Meticulously researched, this non-fiction book explores the undeniably tragic effects of schizophrenia on one family in particular. Never had there been such a large number of siblings with schizophrenia, so their experience (and blood samples) were of great importance to researchers who were trying to find answers. This was a very hard book to read. Aside from six of the siblings suffering from a mental illness that prevented them from living normal lives (with multiple stays at ill-equipped mental hospitals, lost jobs, medications with serious side effects, and broken marriages), there was also the effect on the healthy children who were constantly living in fear. Would they get sick too? wondered the two sisters, who were the youngest of the bunch. The book also focuses on them and the ways they were hurt through this, including abuse from an older brother, the shame of having an oldest brother who was extremely sick and would parade around town screaming religious sayings and dressed like a monk that would embarrass and confuse the youngest sister, and their feelings of abandonment by their mother. Speaking of: the Galvin parents were also a focus of the book, particularly Mimi, the mom. Her perfectionistic attitude and desire to cover up the horror happening in their home was a protective mechanism for her, yet cost the family dearly, especially for the daughters, who harbored resentment towards her as they grew. This is a disturbing and sobering look at the effects of schizophrenia and was pretty depressing since there still is not a definite cure for it. It was terrifying at times to read because of how serious and tragic the symptoms of this disease can be. I cannot imagine the nightmare this family went through.
Rating: PG-13 (language, scenes of abuse)
Reminded me of: Educated by Tara Westover and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (two other dysfunctional families with heartbreaking experiences affecting the children).
Mastering the Art of French Eating: Lessons in Food and Love from a Year in Paris by Ann Mah ★★★★★ (audiobook)

When a lifelong Francophile wife moves to Paris with her diplomat husband for his three-year work assignment, she is on cloud nine. Finally, they can experience the Parisian lifestyle as locals rather than tourists. She has well-drawn out plans to experience it all with her husband, especially the food. But within six months, he is reassigned to Iraq for one year and cannot bring her with him. So she stays in Paris, counting down the days until he returns for the last two years of his Paris assignment. During this year of separation, he encourages her to step out of her comfort zone and explore the city and the food that she enjoys so much. She also stretches herself by befriending expats and locals to combat the loneliness. A foodie and journalist, she soon embarks on an adventure, traveling all over France to find the secrets and stories behind the most beloved of French dishes such as andouillette sausage,
boeuf Bourguignon,
soupe au pistou, and buckwheat crepes (and includes recipes at the end of each chapter for each of these). Mah drew inspiration from another American wife who also followed her diplomat husband to Paris and discovered her love for French food decades before Mah: none other than the
French Chef, Julia Child. The title of this memoir points to Child's famous cookbook,
Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Mah's descriptions of the charming as well as frustrating aspects of living as an American in Paris, her love and devotion to her husband while he was so far away, and her appreciation of French cuisine and mouth-watering recipes all appealed to my own Francophile heart. I absolutely adored this foodie memoir. I have a thing for French foodie memoirs and this is my new favorite. I especially appreciated that it was a very clean book, whereas some of my other beloved American-in-France memoirs have language and sensual scenes that slightly dampened my reading experiences. If you want to travel to France from the comfort (or confines?) of your home during this pandemic, this memoir will transport you to the flavors of France
toute suite.
Rating: G
Reminds me of: My other favorite French foodie memoirs, Lunch in Paris by Elizabeth Bard and The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry by Kathleen Flinn
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottleib ★★★★☆

When the author experienced a shocking breakup, her life quickly unravelled. A therapist herself, she peruses a therapist to validate her hurt emotions, but in the process, learns a lot more about herself and what was really at the root of the emotions she was experiencing after the breakup. Through her personal journey as well as the journeys of several of her patients, she explores themes like grief, forgiving yourself, having courage to start a new story when the old has changed or failed, letting go of unrealistic expectations, saying yes to working on hard but healing work, and the power of friendship to battle our loneliness. Lori is incredibly vulnerable in this book; she was downright obsessive about her ex-boyfriend right after the breakup, stalking him on Facebook. Her emotions were messy and raw; she did not hide that from her readers. At first, I wanted to think: "But you are a therapist! Can't you see what you're telling yourself is not helpful? You should know better." Yikes, that was pretty judgmental and an unfair assumption that therapists can't have their own struggles and need someone to look in and speak truth when their own emotions get clouded by pain, fear, and shame. She was relatable and honest, which gave her a lot of credibility to me as I kept reading. It was very interesting to see the power of therapy in the lives of her patients, some of which were dealing with some very heavy struggles that did not magically disappear after a few sessions, such as a late-stage cancer diagnosis. Therapy can be such a great resource and I am glad this book exists to help demystify some of the techniques and verbiage a therapist uses in their practice as well as a reminder that we all have issues that would benefit from us talking them through with a trained professional who can help us dig deeper and excavate the hurt, fears, shame, and other hardened soil underneath the more obvious emotions we show the world.
Rating: PG-13 (sexual references, language)
White Bird by R.J. Palacio ★★★★★

When I heard the author of the middle-grade novel,
Wonder, published a new book last year, I put a hold on it at the library before even reading the synopsis; that is how much I loved
Wonder! And it did not disappoint!
White Bird focuses on the harrowing experience of the grandmother of Julian (the boy who bullied Auggie) when she was a young girl. After a roundup of Jews in her idyllic French village, she escapes and is hidden in a barn. She and the family who are protecting her exhibit courage, friendship, and loyalty. This is a middle-grade novel, so there are no gruesome details of concentration camps and other atrocities of WWII and yet it does not shy away from those realities either. The illustrations of the graphic novel perfectly captured the heart of the story. I absolutely loved it! Palacio has such a unique way of writing and expressing the struggles of children and teens. Her characters are believable, relatable, and admirable in this novel. It reminded me a bit of Anne Frank since she also lived in hiding for years during WWII.
Rating: PG (some violence)
Without Reservations: The Travels of an Independent Woman by Alice Steinbach ★★★★★

I love travel memoirs, especially when they are set in France, so I had a feeling I would enjoy this one. In 1993, Steinbach was a single woman in her fifties, living a comfortable and successful life as a journalist for the Baltimore Sun. She raised two sons who were now living on their own. She was at a point in her life when she wanted to step away from a busy lifestyle and exchange it for a long period of slow travel, staying in several European cities for months at a time. She soon decided on Paris, London (with several weeks in Oxford for a summer course), and Italy (Venice, Tuscany region, Rome, Amalfi Coast). In her memoir, she shares the highlights of her trip as well as reflections on what it means to be an independent woman, not defined by what other people expected of her. She traveled however she wanted to and made friends along the way. This was a fascinating and fun memoir. I have traveled to all of the regions she visited except for Venice, so there was a lot of nostalgia on my part as I read her beautiful descriptions and experiences, from Giverny to visit Monet's house and gardens (one of my favorite days in my life), to sleeping in a dorm room in the Old Quad at Brasenose College at Oxford, to meandering alongside Paris' Seine River, the vibrant blue sea and fragrant lemon trees of Amalfi Coast, and the rolling hills and castles of Tuscany. Even though we are in different stages of life and her version of traveling is a lot more expensive than my own, there were still so much I could identify with as she shared her thoughts on different aspects of being a woman, traveling, being a mom, and trying new experiences. She definitely seemed like an extrovert as she was always finding English-speaking people to befriend, which was fun to read about, though my introverted self would likely not be quite as outgoing. Each chapter had a beautiful, colorful postcard highlighting the city that would be mentioned in that chapter. This was a delight and fun way to travel from the comfort (or confines?) or my armchair in this season of staying at home.
Rating: G
The Water Keeper by Charles Martin (audiobook) ★★★★★

According to the authors, modern Westerners (Americans, Canadians, British, Australian, etc) often approach the Bible with their own presuppositions, biases, assumptions, and experiences, which can lead to misinterpretations and misreadings of the Biblical text. This is normal and expected, but the authors encourage readers to become more aware of the cultural blinders that stand in our way of understanding the context of Biblical passages. They dive into mores (behaviors accepted without question that are fundamental moral views of that culture), race and ethnicity (our subtle prejudices and assumptions can get in the way), language (originally written in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, a lot can be missed or confused in translation), the Western idealism of individualism vs the Eastern value of collectivism, the West's value of right/wrong vs East's honor/shame values, the concept of time (quantitative time is chronos vs qualitative time is kairos), Westerner's emphasis on rules vs the East's on relationships, virtues and vices that are different in cultures, and the Western's Me theology (finding yourself at the center of every Bible passage, making it all about application and claiming every promise of the Bible for yourself vs. studying the context and whether it was directed towards the collective Church vs. an individual). The authors did a good job of revealing possible blinders in a way that didn't ridicule Westerners. Rather, they challenged readers to approach the Bible considering the cultural baggage we bring with us and humbly embrace the complexity of the many factors that can cause us to misinterpret the Bible. They encourage a teachable attitude and taking the extra step to study the culture and context of Biblical passages, which we are fortunate in our generation to have a plethora of resources at our disposal (online and in print). I read this book alongside my husband and discussed each chapter, which brought up thought-provoking dialogue.
I heard about this book when I read Bringing Up Bebe, which compares French and American parenting. Karen, a Canadian, moved to a small French village with her French husband and two young daughters to immerse them in the culture and spend time with their French relatives. Well, it was quickly apparent that her daughters’ picky eating, frequent snacking, and emotional eating (bribing, rewarding with food) was very countercultural to French food philosophies, especially when her five-year old was enrolled in school. French children are taught from infancy about food and the school systems spend a lot of time and effort in teaching nutrition as well, hiring highly skilled chefs to prepare elaborate meals for even preschoolers. Karen was intrigued by not only the variety of foods French kids ate, but also the way they’d sit contentedly for long meals and not snack on junk food in between meals. She ventured to try to create a new food culture in her home to assimilate to their French surroundings and soon enough, saw incredible improvements in the foods her daughters were eating. She soon put together ten food rules, which she shares in this book: 1) Parents are in charge of their food education. 2) Avoid emotional eating (no food rewards or bribes). 3) Parents schedule meals and kids eat what parents eat (no short-order cooking). 4) Eat family meals together (no distractions) 5) Eat variety of veggies in a variety of preparations (raw, steamed, grilled, etc) 6) When met with opposition, say “You don’t have to like it, but you do have to try it” (don’t force if they decline after a few tastes; try again in a few days or weeks). 7) Limit snacking to once a day (it’s ok to feel hungry between meals). 8) Slow food is happy food (chew slowly; be ok with longer meals) 9) Eat mostly real (and when possible, local) food (limit sweets to special occasions) 10) Remember, eating is joyful (and social); relax and enjoy the meal and company. I really enjoyed the research as well as Karen’s own family experiment with these rules. Although I don’t agree with all French parenting philosophies, I definitely see a lot of wisdom in these rules. French parents are definitely more authoritarian than the often child-led parenting styles in America, so they limit lots of choices and can seem restrictive and bossy, but Karen showed how a parent can balance their own comfort level and parenting style to incorporate some of these French eating rules to help children eat more variety and appreciate nutritive whole food rather than primarily craving starchy processed foods. We have already been giving Elliot a variety of veggies since he is very restricted due to his food sensitivities, but there are plenty things I will be trying out after reading this book!
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Elle Alice