Today is a special treat! I get to share all about a fantastic newly published book ... and I get to also share about the wonderful author of this book, who is a treasured friend. I excitedly awaited Debbie to publish her first children's book and ordered it within minutes of her texting me that it was available for purchase. As soon as I read it to my toddler, I knew I would want to help put this precious book in the hands of other families, so I wanted to shine a spotlight on it through my little corner on the internet.
We meet sweet Olive Marie right before she hears the devastating news that her beloved grandma has passed away. We follow along as she processes this heartbreaking new reality and all the emotions that come along with the grief and healing process. From an angry outburst to mournful tears to eventually finding a way to remember and honor her garden-loving grandma's legacy. Olive Marie is relatable to any child who is going through the grieving process, whether their own grandparent or any other person or even pet.
Although we haven't experienced anyone passing away, Elliot still really enjoyed this read-aloud. We talked about why Olive Marie was mad and then sad, as well as how hard it would be to lose someone you love. Then we talked about what we thought it meant to have "grey days". It gave us a new phrase to use for the hard days. One of Elliot's friends lost a sibling a year ago, so this book was a great way to talk to him about how we can be praying for that friend during her own grey days.
Aside from writing her first children's book, Debbie also learned how to use a computer illustrating program to illustrate the book! The book's floral theme, from the title page through all the pages, adds a glimmer of light and hope that Olive Marie's days won't always be grey.
This is a great resource for a family who is grieving, and can be a wonderful tool to help children process all the difficult emotions. It can be a sweet gift when you aren't sure what to say or how to help, but want to be there for that family somehow.
First, I love that the idea for this book was born out of your compassion and desire to come alongside a grieving friend and her young daughter as they process the loss of a dear grandma. How did some of the other details come about, like the focus on flowers/gardening as a pathway through remembering the grandma as well as working through grief?
I joke around that this book wanted to be in the world, it just needed a vessel to sit down and write, so it could jump through the pages. There was no brainstorming, no planning, I just felt in my heart that I needed to write my friend's daughter a book, and out the story came onto the page. From start-to-finish, writing the book really only took me about two hours. I would write one paragraph, then come up with one line of the next paragraph, then play around with rhyming words that would flow with the story, and on we went. So if anything, the story really was born from and driven by, the next rhyming words that made sense with the story.
You have great insight and explanation of the grieving process and brought it to a level that is easy for young children to understand. I especially like using the term “grey day” with Elliot when we are having a sad day. The ways Olive Marie’s emotions, from sadness to anger, were validated and not labeled as wrong, was also great. Did you research grief in children to express Olive Marie’s varying emotions? Are there any resources you found while writing the book that you’d recommend for families who are grieving?
As a parent of a toddler myself, I follow a LOT of parenting accounts on Instagram. I love the trend of helping our children name and recognise their emotions, not just try to shove the hard emotions down and tell them to "calm down." I mean, as an adult, how would I feel if my husband told me that when I was upset? It would not go well.... We all have emotions, but emotional maturity is having them all, recognizing them in ourselves, and being able to properly handle them and walk through them. Big Life Journal, Big Little Feelings, the Mom Psychologist, Nurtured First & Dr Becky At Good Inside are all accounts that help me as a parent learn ways to help my toddler realize and name her emotions, and learn that they are part of life, and what we can do when we feel each of them. I think this knowledge just naturally came out in my book, since I work on these feelings and emotions with my young daughter every single day.
You wrote and illustrated this book, which is an amazing feat for a first author! What was the illustrating process like, and what were some of the joys and frustrations of illustrating your own book?
Ha. It was LONG. I work full-time, so it really was a couple hours here-and-there in the evenings after my daughter went to bed, and I had finished getting ready for the next day. I watched an incredible amount of YouTube videos on how to use the program Procreate on my iPad, and started following some illustrators on Instagram to be able to watch their processes of using the program as well. It was fun and hard at the same time, but isn't that how everything new goes?! =)
What age range do you feel your book targets?
To be honest, I hope it can help people ages 0-99. But I think the target child audience would be 3-8 years old.
What has been the most surprising thing about writing, illustrating, and publishing your own book?
To be honest, I think I am most surprised that I actually figured it all out and DID it. I'm a full-time working mom of a toddler, who is NOT in the publishing world in the slightest. The internet can be an incredible place, and I'd like to thank YouTube, and the Kindlepreneur blog, and Instagram for really making it so you really can learn ANYTHING on the internet! =)
Now that your book is out in the world, what is your biggest hope for it? How would you like it to impact families?
My first hope was to honor the life of my sweet friend's Grandma. When anyone passes, I think we all ponder on legacy and remembrance. I love that her family now has a little piece of her that they can easily remember her, and speak about her, every time they pull out the book. My second hope is that it offers people an option to send to a grieving friend, aside from flowers. When someone passes, the normal reaction is to send food or flowers. But sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough, and what better than a guide, to help people be able to talk about and work through their grief, whether they be 3 or 99 years old.
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That was so fun! A fun fact about our friendship is that I met Debbie through my husband, who used to be roommates with Debbie's husband. When Greg bought my engagement ring, he told them about it his plans to fly from Texas to surprise me in the Pacific Northwest to propose. They dropped everything within a few days notice and hopped on a plane to photograph the proposal!! When Greg surprised me in a park to propose, I saw two people in the corner of my eyes, but assumed they were just other people visiting the park. Little did I know our sweet friends would capture photos that still bring so much joy to me! That's Debbie in a nutshell: always ready for an adventure, always ready to love others generously and intentionally, and always ready for a challenge (like finding a tree to hide behind so I wouldn't see her... and like writing/illustrating her own book!). I am so honored to have Debbie as a treasured friend in my life and am really excited to share her creativity, compassion for those who are grieving, and her overall wonderful self with you all! Let me know if you end up grabbing the book and your thoughts!
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Elle Alice