How to Have Tea Time with Young Children

Our first Tea Time Tuesday, a few weeks shy of Elliot's 2nd birthday

The idea of Tea Time can feel stuffy, formal, and unrealistic for toddlers and preschoolers. Won't they spill their tea, mess up the decor, and just make the whole experience less than the idyllic portrait you may see in a painting or Instagram post? Well, yes, definitely to all three, but I don't think that should stop you. In the last year and a half of Tuesday Tea Time with my now 3.5 year old son, we have enjoyed this short and sweet opportunity to calm down together, connect over a cup of caffeine-free tea, and just take a break from the day to gaze at beauty (whether art, classical music, or a classic picture book). But tea time can look entirely different for other families, depending on ages, stages, and interests of your children. The main goal for Tea Time is for it to be life-giving for both you and your children in whatever way works best for your current season of life. 

If you're curious how we make it work without adding an extra burden on my already busy day, and how a toddler could possibly enjoy such an "adult-dish" pleasure, read on. Also, if you don't particularly enjoy tea, also read on, because this can just as easily be a Hot Cocoa Time, or whatever else you prefer to sip on when relaxing. 

First off, let's just put away any stuffy picture of perfectly still children sitting with perfect posture in a seat and sipping their dainty tea cup with their pinky up. I am going to share how to make this a possibility even with a (sometimes) wild child of a boy, like my own. Although this can be a wonderful opportunity to practice habits like taking care of breakable things and table manners, I'd recommend trying to keep any formal lesson or obvious habit training at the minimum so it remains an enjoyable activity. 

I first started Tuesday Tea Time when I started looking into Charlotte Mason home education philosophy and practical application in the home, particularly when I started The Gentle and Classical Preschool in the Fall of 2021. I simplified it from the ways expressed in blog posts and homeschool curriculum, and made it our own, and my son and I both look forward to Tuesday afternoons together. It has looked different in seasons (like when I was pregnant) but has always remained a constant rhythm we look forward to in our week. 

What does Tea Time Tuesday look like in my home?

WHEN: Tea Time Tuesday occurs on, you guessed it, Tuesdays, simply because I enjoy a little alliteration in my life and I liked the sound of it. Having one day a week when I try to make a tea break happen is realistic for me. Maybe we will have shorter, more frequent tea times in the future, but the once-a-week rhythm brings anticipation for both of us and is just a sweet treat early in the week. It lasts as long as we want it to, usually from fifteen minutes to an hour, depending on my son's interest. I don't force him to sit still; if he starts getting the wiggles, we switch to play time, or some other activity he wants to do. Tuesday Tea Time is always after his nap, so around three-ish in the afternoon. This is just the time that works for us because he tends to wake up groggy and in need of extra cuddles. He also has a bit of trouble going straight to independent play upon awakening, so it helps to have a little structured activity ready for him to help him wake up while having quality time with me. 

WHAT WE DO: Other than enjoying tea, a sweet snack, and good conversation, I like to add in either a good story or a gentle music or art study. I use "study" very loosely since I try to keep it very gentle and simple in approach. It is never about mastering the masterpieces, but rather just exposure and enjoyment, so that they can hopefully develop a taste for the enduring charm of beautiful art and classical music. It is a time meant to be enjoyed together, not quizzing or even much learning necessarily. The homeschool curriculum I partly use, The Gentle and Classical Preschool,  encourages having a time of music and art study during tea time, so that's what started our Tea Time back in 2021.  Typically, if we are "studying" a painting, it is accompanied by some watercoloring time too. Other times I just read a classic picture book or  storybook aloud while we sip our tea and snack on a special treat.  I alternate weeks that we focus on art, music, and a storybook. I never do all three in one day. So, for example, one week we may focus on Claude Monet's waterlily paintings, so I will read a picture book with a fun story about him or his art, then we will focus on one painting in particular to talk about, and then we will spend some time watercoloring. Another tea time we will read a longer story out of  the original Winnie-the-Pooh storybooks. And another week we will listen to the Carnival of Animals and act out the animals in each movement of the symphonic masterpiece.

WHAT WE EAT & DRINK: I typically choose decaffeinated teas, usually fruit teas for their natural sweetness. Tea Time Tuesday typically includes a treat that I save for this day. Sometimes it is a dessert Elliot and I baked the day before (like a simple pie or cookies), while more often it is a store-bought cookie and fruit. I try to keep it simple and easy so that it doesn't feel like a burden to prepare. 

We have a new member of Tuesday Tea Time these days!

How can you implement a simple tea time?

First off, don't think it needs to look like our Tuesday Tea Time. I included our typical layout just for an example, but you know your child and what they and you would enjoy. If ten minutes is more realistic, start there. If looking at art or listening to classical music sounds daunting, start with a favorite picture book! If baking is unrealistic in this season of life, don't even think of it -- stock up on a few packaged desserts that you hide away for this special occasion. If handing your toddler watercolors sounds too messy, don't start there. Just find one thing to try and make it as simple as you want, then build on it as it becomes more of a habit in your weekly rhythm. Or not. If it just isn't a fun experience for either of you, pause for a few months and try again, if desired. This isn't something you need to do to be a good mom. It's just a sweet activity that may become a beloved memory, but there are a million other things you can also do with your child if this isn't it!

First, envision what you want it to look like

Do you want this to be as simple as can be? Or do you like the idea of pulling out your favorite china and going all out, dressing up, and serving a delicious home-made dessert? Anything in between is great too! Think about what you want you and your children to get out of it. Do you want a break in the day to have deeper conversations together? Then maybe it would help to have a few questions written down and ready to go. An opportunity to try new teas? Find an affordable sampler of teas and rate them from 1 to 5 if you're into that! A gentle introduction to classical music and masterpiece paintings? Read below how to make it as easy as possible. Just think about how this can be life-giving, restful, and memory making for you and your child(ren) and start planning how to make this happen. Don't try to mirror what you see on this post or on an Instagram feed; make it your own and you'll enjoy it more. 

Our last tea time before my daughter was born a few days later. My mother-in-law was in town, so it was extra special to have her join us for this tea time. 

Location

We typically have Tuesday Tea Time at our dinner table in the kitchen since it is large enough for any books or crafts I want to include. But we have also had it at his small breakfast/activity table as well as outside on a picnic blanket during good weather! Find whatever location works for you and move it around if desired. You want a spot that you're both comfortable.

Type of tea (or not)

This is really your decision. I would recommend decaffeinated fruit teas. A go-to for me is Celestial Seasonings's fruit tea sampler, which should be found for a few dollars at your local grocery store. Fruit teas are a great option because they taste similar to juice, so it isn't too foreign. If you have a favorite tea, try that, explaining to your child why you like it, and they may end up liking it too. I love Harney & Sons Vanilla Comoro tea, a decaffeinated black tea with floral hints with a splash of oat milk and some honey. And since it has honey in it, Elliot enjoys it too. Do you just not like tea at all? Opt for hot cocoa, warm cider, or even decaffeinated coffee (for you children if you need the caffeine) with some sweetness added. Just make it something you will both enjoy sipping on. 

A note on teacups (breaking, spilling, etc)

We usually use the adorable HearthSong woodland tin tea set gifted to Elliot for Christmas two years ago. It's durable, doesn't break if dropped by small hands, and  a neutral woodland design that isn't girly (which can be hard to find). The tea set is meant to be a toy, but the cups and pot don't leak, so they work for us with real tea.  The cups are tiny, so just expect that you'll be pouring a lot of refills, which doesn't bother us since Elliot loves pouring with his tea pot. Others may enjoy using real tea cups, which is fine. I tried this a few times and was so nervous Elliot would break my favorite tea cups, that it just wasn't as enjoyable for me, so I usually choose his tea set or one of his tiny mugs we use for hot cocoa during breakfast (mugs I collected before we had  kids while on vacation in NYC and Europe, so they are special, but not the end of the world if they break). If you are worried about using your own tea cups, there are always tea cups at thrift stores, so you can stock up in a couple in case they break. I'd recommend using something a bit more special than their daily water bottle, but not something you need to go out and buy. You may need to spend a bit of time explaining how to hold a tea cup and how to have slow hands the first few tea times. You may also start with just a tiny bit of liquid in there, so if there is a spill, it's not much and can be easily cleaned. Whatever you think will help if the mess-factor is intimidating, do it to set you both up for success! 

Including beauty to your tea time

I enjoy beautiful things, so I like added a touch of beauty, whether it is fresh or fake flowers in a small vase, a clean tablecloth, or a doily and simple centerpiece (paper doilies from the dollar store definitely work!). I want tea time to look a bit more special than other meals and snack times. But this doesn't mean a stuffy atmosphere, just a little upgrade to your normal set-up that makes you both feel you are entering into a special experience together. Elliot doesn't wear anything special and his hair sometimes resembles Einstein's crazy coif, but that's ok! And I don't overdo the decor. He doesn't mine flowers and doilies at this age, but I also want to keep it pretty gender neutral so it doesn't feel girly. People all over the world enjoy a daily tea time, men included, so I don't want him to get the idea one day that drinking tea is only for girls, but I also don't want to overload the pink, frills, and flowers either. 

Inviting your child to tea time

If it's your first tea time, it may be helpful to include a favorite stuffed animal. Or it may just be fine to say, "I want to try something new that I hope we will both enjoy..." if you think your child needs an explanation. Otherwise, just simply invite them to the spread you've laid out. I think it feels more inviting if the spread is laid out ahead of time, which is another reason I enjoy having our weekly tea time after a nap: I don't have a hangry toddler at my heels, asking me when he can eat a cookie. 

Including the arts and/or good books with tea time

You can definitely just enjoy tea time on its own, with conversation and enjoying your tea and snack. But adding a bit of the arts can be a fun way to expose your children to masterpieces, helping them appreciate timeless music, art, poetry, and stories. 

STORIES 

Tea Time is a great opportunity to enjoy beautifully-illustrated picture books together. We read plenty of more current, silly,  character-based picture books during the rest of the day, but I choose specific books for Tea Time that have engaging plots and jaw-dropping watercolor illustrations.  In the Charlotte Mason homeschooling world, these books are called "living books" and basically are filled with life-giving ideas for your child (and you) to feast on. Blueberries for Sal, The Tiny Seed (Eric Carl), Library Lion (Michelle Knudson), and A House in the Woods (Inga Moore) are ones we've loved during Tea Time. But if you'd prefer to just start with books you know your child enjoys, even they seem very simple and cartoonish, start with the familiar and try different books in the future. 

Storybooks and fairy tales, and nursery rhymes are also great for Tea Time because you can pick up on the next story each week and save that storybook for your special Tea Time. Some classic storybooks  we have enjoyed during Tuesday Tea Time include Peter Rabbit's Giant Storybook and The Complete Winnie-the-Pooh (I found these for $1 each at a library book sales, so be on the lookout as these classics are often found at used book sales, either in a collection or sold separately. Fairy tale storybooks are also great for tea time and are usually easy to find at thrift stores and used book sales. For a more faith-based option, we absolutely adore Little Pilgrim's Big Journey, a children's retelling of The Pilgrim's Progress.

GENTLE ART STUDY

There's a few options here, and any of them are great ways to introduce the masterpieces to your children. I use the term "gentle" because this is meant to be an exposure, not a mastery of art. it is meant to be enjoyable for everyone involved, not about quizzing or memorizing facts. First, you can just grab a picture book focused on an artist or masterpiece and read the story. You can look at the illustrations and make a few observations, like the colors used, or your favorite part about the illustrations. Our favorite picture books with a story that is based on an artist are the Katie books by James Mayhew. Our favorite is Katie and the Starry Night, which is about Katie hopping into different Van Gogh paintings at the museum. Monet is my favorite artist, and impressionism is my favorite art genre, so we have also enjoyed reading Katie Meets the Impressionists (also by Mayhew), The Magical Garden of Claude Monet (Laurence Anholt), and Monet's Cat (Lily Murray). These all have an engaging plot for kids while being immersed in beautiful illustration by the book's illustrator as well as weaving in the artist's masterpieces. These stories are all a bit long, so I would recommend them for three years old and up, unless you have a two-year old that likes long picture books, like Elliot did. 

Another option with less reading and more emphasis on the artwork are the art board books by Julie Merberg and Suzanne Bober, specifically A Picnic with Monet, In the Garden with Van Gogh,  Dancing with Degas, Sundays with Seurat,  A Magical Day with Matisse, and Sharing with Renoir. These are all short with only a sentence or two on each page and a corresponding painting. You can easily just slowly flip the pages and admire the artwork, saying a few things or not saying much at all. We really enjoyed this when Elliot was and infant all the way up to three years old. Now he definitely wants longer books. 

If you want to go a step further, you can choose one paintings, either one from the book you chose, or if you want to just chat about a painting and not read a book at all, that's fine too. Print out the painting from a free image online. Back in my pre-kids days, I traveled and would visit museums and enjoyed buying postcards of artwork as souvenirs. I now use those prints for our art study! Place the artwork on a stand or just lay it on the table if you can all see it. Spend a few minutes just studying the artwork by looking for things you enjoy or anything you want to talk about later. Then ask a few questions, not to quiz the child, but to engage in conversation. I don't ask all of these questions, just whichever feel appropriate for that artwork.

• What colors do you see? Are the colors light or dark?  Can you find any shadows? Does this look like a happy or sad picture? Any facial expressions you notice and can you copy them with your face? What does it make you feel? What’s your favorite part of this painting? I don't ask all these questions; just a couple of them, depending on the artwork. 

And if you have time and you're up for some artwork (and possibly a little mess), then pull out a watercolor set, some thick cardstock, and a paintbrush and let your child paint their own masterpiece. For older kids, you can ask them to try to paint the painting you looked at, or you can just let them use their imagination and create whatever their little heart's desire. For toddlers, offer small amounts of water, stay close by, and have a towel nearby. A smock can also be helpful if you're worried about stains (I've never had trouble getting any out with normal detergent). You as the parent can also paint along on your own paper. It is such a sweet little time of creativity and rest together. 

For more details on how I do art with a toddler, you can click HERE

GENTLE MUSIC STUDY

Classical music is not just for adults, nor should it be stuffy or boring. In the last year and a half, my toddler and I have explored several different classical music compositions intended for children, which is a great place to start if classical music intimidates you. 

One very easy option is not truly classical since it was published two years ago, but still a great introduction to symphonic music: Wild Symphony by Dan Brown. Each page focuses on an animal and there is a funny paragraph-long poem about the animal. There is a green app available to download that has the music Dan Brown composed for each of these different animals. Elliot ADORES this book. He finds the music engaging and silly, the illustrations fun, and the poems themselves are great too. You can simply read the book and listen to the music together, or you can ask questions to get them listening to things like the speed of the music, like, "Why do you think the cheetah song was fast? Can you run fast like that cheetah?" or the instruments used, which include brass, strings, and plenty of percussion instruments. It is an easy and very fun introduction to appreciating symphonic music.

Wild Symphony actually reminds me of a truly classical piece of art that is also fun and was intended for children: Carnival of Animals by Camille Saint-Saens. This is an incredibly fun symponic composition where each movement focuses on a different animal, from regal lions to slow turtles to ocean animals. We are listening to this one this year and it is incredibly fun for preschoolers. Pinterest has a ton of ideas for this one if you want to create your own little music study with crafts, but the easiest thing to do is to listen to one or two movements (they range around a minute or two for each movement) and act out the animal. I also like to ask questions like: What instrument do you think that was, a trumpet or a violin? Was that fast or slow? Can you move your body fast like the music? I definitely don't ask all of these questions, and I give plenty of silent time to just enjoy the music together, but the questions can help keep him engaged. We will listen to the music one time around and then listen again while acting it out when we are done with tea time, because it usually includes running, jumping, or doing other silly animal motions. Our favorite way to listen us using THIS YouTube video that shows a symphony playing the music while cartoonish animals are projected on the screen for each movement.  Some weeks when he is in the mood, he will want to listen to all twenty-five minutes of the composition. Other times we only listen to a few movements and then start our own movements. Other times, we will read a picture book based on the composition. Our two favorites are The Story Orchestra: The Carnival of Animals, which has buttons to press for short clips of the music and a really cute story of two boys entering the music and meeting the animals. This is a great one for toddlers and up.  There are other books in The Story Orchestra series that follow the same set-up with musical buttons and a fun story. Our favorite are Four Seasons In A Day (Vivaldi's Four Seasons) and The Nutcracker, both of which I have used for Tea Time Tuesday in different seasons. We also love   The Carnival of Animals by Jack Prelutsky, which includes a CD with the music. His poems about the animals are really funny, but may be more appropriate for preschoolers and up since they can be a bit long for toddlers. 

Peter and the Wolf is a symphonic fairytale based on a Russian fairy tale with the same name. You can find recordings of the thirty-minute composition on YouTube, Amazon Music, or CDs at your local library. You can also find fairytale storybooks with the story pretty easily, either at the library or used book websites. Each of the characters (a duck, a bird, a cat, a wolf, and of course Peter) were symbolized by an instrument. So whenever that instrument plays, the story is focused on that character. It is a lively, fun classical piece that is easy to listen to because in all the recordings I have heard, there is a narrator telling the story while the music plays. So you don't need a picture book unless you want illustrations, which we love and just happened to have a fairytale book that included this story (that I also found for $1 at a used book sale. Do you see a theme? I don't spend a lot on most kids books).  IF you want to go a step further, and this is absolutely not needed but can be a fun addition, The Gentle and Classical Preschool Art and Music Pack is a digital file that includes pictures of the characters in the story plus instrument flash cards so that you can engage with the story more. It also includes art prints if you want to use them for the art study explained above. It was included in my digital purchase of the preschool curriculum, but is sold separately for those who want just the art pack. 

But, just as in every other part of Tea Time, find whatever you enjoy and go with it. You can choose your own music, of course. If you prefer jazz or something else, go with that! I just love classical music and want my kids to be exposed to it early on, and so far Elliot seems to enjoy it, so we have stuck with that. If there is a composer you have enjoyed, start there. 

POETRY

Another option to use at Tea Time is poetry. I am not referring to listening and reciting long poems with symbolism that is hard for even you to decipher. I am referring to just reading poetry written for kids. If you think about it, most board books include a very simplistic poem because everything rhymes, so your kids are already exposed to poetry before they're even talking. But if you want to take it a step forward, search your library's catalog for some simple and fun poetry intended for kids. This is an area that I have just recently become more comfortable with, since I don't gravitate towards poetry too much but have been wanting to expose my own self to it more. A Child's Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson is a classic. The poems are simple and adorable, and the illustrations help keep kids engaged. I love the Little Golden Book version illustrated by Eloise Wilkin, which I found for a dollar or less at a used book sale. There are a ton of different versions and they are always at libraries and used book sales. More current examples that I am wanting to try out soon include: Animals Animals by Eric Carle and Sing A Song of Seasons.

Conclusion

In the end, I consider a weekly tea time to be a life-giving retreat from our busy week and an opportunity to connect together while enjoying a slightly elevated activity than what we usually do.  What a beautiful inheritance kids can receive from being exposed to beautiful things their parents enjoy listening to, drinking, and looking at. They'll probably still gravitate towards kids music, cartoonish art, and juice boxes, but their palate will know the taste of something much richer as well.  And, if ther is certain art or music that is important for you, they get to know that part of you a little more as you share a cup of something tasty and simply enjoy beauty together. 

I would love to hear if you have tea time at your home and what brings you joy at the table?

P.S. If you want to read about other life-giving rhythms in this season of life with littles, click HERE