Setting Up Your Home for Young Children to Self-Dress and Help with Chores

 

I definitely enjoy a magazine-worthy home with white furniture, sparkling floors, clutter-free spaces, and sparse but beautiful decor. BUT, that's not my reality in these early years of motherhood. My reality includes a three-year old and an infant, so my home reflects this beautifully messy stage in life. However, some sense of organization, cleanliness, order, and beauty are still attempted! My main goal with my home in this season,  is a functional, kid-friendly space that encourages my three-year old to gain independence in his daily tasks at home. I gleaned a lot of knowledge and practical tips about this topic from Montessori parents and books, where these daily tasks of self-hygiene and helping with housework are labeled Practical Life Skills. But really, it's not a uniquely Montessori idea. It basically means that your house reflects that a kid lives in it and that your child is able to contribute to keeping the house in order and caring for their self-hygiene. From early years, children can learn to put things away in their proper place, help with easy household chores, clean up after themselves, and get ready for the day by getting dressed and performing basic self-hygiene. These tasks are made a lot easier when the home is set-up to help them do things on their own. 

HOUSEHOLD CHORES/SKILLS FOR TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS

When teaching toddlers and preschoolers to learn skills like self-dressing, hygiene, and simple chores, it is important to start small, choose skills that are actually beneficial for your household and match your child's developmental stage, and be patient with the long process. It will be worth it down the road when its become a habit and you only have to occasionally give them reminders. But when you are in the trenches and it feels like its taking three times as long to do a simple task with them versus what it would take on your own, it can be tough! 

HERE is a great list (and helpful tips) for helping toddlers and preschoolers learn age-appropriate chores. You can add or subtract from this list based on what is important for your household. For example, Elliot's shirts are hung on a rack in his closet, so I don't care about him learning to fold shirts right now. 

And HERE is a great video about helping children understand why and how to help with household chores.

Below  is a list of some of the chores and self-care skills I have worked on with Elliot from age 2-3. We don't do these everyday, but I am trying to make these more frequent skills to practice. He still needs some direction and supervision, but these seemed age-appropriate for him so far:

Food prep:

• Wash produce (I give him a big bowl of water on the counter)
• slice some foods with a safe knife (see below for recommendations) 
• using measuring cups (it helps to mark the fill-line with a washable marker)
• pouring liquids (same as above with marking the fill-line)
• scrubbing potatoes with a brush
• stirring/mixing (pancakes are his favorite)

Laundry:

• Match socks
• Take clothes to his room and place them in closet
• Help with folding washcloths

Clean-Up

• sweeping and dusting  with his Melissa & Doug duster
• Ten Minute Tidy: jam out to a fun playlist, trying to beat a 10-min timer while cleaning up at the end of the day
• Wipe windows with a washcloth and small spray bottle (filled with either water or a 1:1  mix of vinegar and water with some drops of essential oil)
• Clearing his small table after breakfast (he places dishes on counter by the sink)
• Wiping his table after breakfast and messy art projects
• Empty dishwasher together (he only focuses on his own dishes and silverware)
• Putting shoes, jacket, bag away as soon as we get home
• Mopping or wiping spills on the floor (I removed the middle piece of a Swiffer mop to make it shorter)

Self-Care

• Getting dressed (this slowly transitioned from me dressing him, to providing minimal help, to independently dressing without me even in the room... hurrah!)
• Putting socks and shoes on at the front entrance
• Brushing teeth, washing face and hands
• Potty, especially before we leave for an outing and when we return.

TIPS ON SETTING UP THE HOME FOR PROMOTING SELF-CARE INDEPENDENCE AND ASSISTING WITH CHORES

Here are some tips that have been helpful for our household to encourage our three-year old to get simple chores done, get ready for the day, keep his area cleaned, and basically just be an active participant  of our household. We've been working on many of these skills since he was two and he is now starting to be independent, which is really fun to see. Yes, it takes extra time to wait for them to put on their own shoes with you guiding them with your words instead of quickly popping them on their feet, or dicing up veggies without their participation. But eventually, it will actually save you time, which has been the case now that I have a new baby in the house. And a toddler's self-confidence skyrockets when they see they can do something on their own, which is a big developmental need at that age.

 NOTE: Although I will include some links to give ideas of items that could be helpful, I do not receive any incentive or money for these links, nor do I necessarily think you need to go out and buy new furniture or tools to make this happen. First, look around your home; you make have something you can use (like an unused step stools from your in-law's garage... speaking from experience), then look on Facebook Marketplace, garage sales, thrift stores, etc.  Some items might be worth the cost, but please never feel you need to shell out lots of money to provide a great learning environment for your child at home. There should always be a cost-effective and reasonable alternative.

Ok, let's get started! I will organize my thoughts my the rooms of my house.

ENTRYWAY

Let's say you stopped by for a playdate. The first thing you'll pass as you enter our home is our entryway wall where I have Command hooks at my child's level, a basket for shoes, and a small stool to sit on while putting on/taking off shoes. This makes it easy for him to hang a jacket and backpack, then drop his shoes in the basket. I only set out what is weather-appropriate so we can minimize tears when he wants to wear sandals in frigid winter temperatures. The mantra "a place for everything and everything in it's place" is incredibly valuable here. Elliot has learned that as soon as we enter the house, no matter from what entrance (garage, backyard door, front entrance), we immediately go to the front entryway to drop off our shoes, bag, and jacket (when needed). It has been a habit we have been working on since he was around 1.5 years old and more often than not, happens automatically now (with the occasional reminder needed when he wants to rush to his play area). It's been a good habit for me to learn as well, since I need to be modeling this alongside of him, so it keeps me on my toes!

Some helpful items: 

• a basket, shoe rack, or box to keep a few pairs of shoes. Too many choices can be overwhelming, so try to stick with two to three options. 
• Command hooks or nails secured to the wall at the child's level to make it easy for them to hang a coat and bag. 
• a short stool or bench for them to sit when putting shoes on. They can easily do this on the floor, but I have noticed Elliot is more capable of putting shoes on when he is sitting on a small stool. I found ours in my in-laws garage and asked if they needed it. I covered it with a furry koala-print pillowcase souvenir from my parent's trip to Australia that I never knew what to do with. 

Tips for developing self-dressing skills to work on between 2-3 years old:

• To help with differentiating between left and right shoes, cut a sticker in half and place each piece on the sole of the shoe to help kids learn which shoe goes on which foot (the half stickers on each shoe complete the picture when placed on the right foot). I just use regular stickers, but HERE are some you can buy, if preferred. The stickers do come off easily, so it's not a long-term fix, but can help in the early stages of putting shoes on.
• Montessori Coat Flip: A great way to teach toddlers to put their coats on themselves. Elliot is very proud of himself whenever he does this cool little flip to put his coat on.
• When we were first working on the habit of putting shoes/jacket/bag away, I would say, as we drove up the driveway, "The first thing we do when we go inside is put our shoes away!" as a quick reminder. I would gently redirect him whenever he ran straight to his toys or when he threw his shoes on the floor haphazardly. Now he independently does this around 80% of the time! 
• HERE is a helpful video on teaching toddlers to self-dress. I used all of this with Elliot

PLAY AREAS

We don't have a play room, so the play areas are in different sections of our home. The main area is on the farther corner of our living room. I prefer open shelves and bins for my son to easily see where toys are kept and to easily return toys back to their correct spot. Up until around two years old, I organized the toys and would model where they belong while we cleaned up together. Now, at three, he has a lot more say where he wants certain toys kept in this area, but there is some method to the madness. For example, he knows that his big trucks go on one side while smaller cars go in the toy basket in the opposite side of our open toy storage cubby. The more he is included in where things go, the more he takes initiative in cleaning up (with reminders).  

I only keep around a third to a half of his toys out at one time. Again, too many choices can be overwhelming, but so can the mess! I rotate the toys out and he can trade a toy he wants from storage with a toy that is currently out. I have his toys organized by type of toy in his closet and the system has worked really well for us since he was a baby. 

Some helpful items and tips:

• open baskets for displaying small toys and books
• open-shelf storage units (look for used ones or remove doors to make toys more visible and accessible. Pinterest has great DIY ideas. Cube organizers from Target, Walmart, and Ikea are pretty affordable and durable.)
• Decide when and how you want your child to help clean up: After he is done with a particular toy? Before nap and bedtime? Only at bedtime? Only once a week? Whatever works for your family, make it a habit, starting with short cleaning sessions where you do most of the work and moving on to them cleaning almost independently.
• HERE is a great video on teaching young kids to clean up toys with tips to make it fun
• Elliot can vacuum using the attachments option with our vacuum. This obviously requires supervision, but is helpful for him to practice after he spills something and makes a big mess. Sometimes, Curious George helps too!

KITCHEN & DINING AREA

Elliot helps with cooking several times a week, whether mixing the ingredients for our weekly pancakes or dumping veggies I chopped into the crockpot. As he has grown, I have provided different opportunities to cook and bake together, but don't force it or expect it for every meal. It's been a sweet way to connect and work together, and he has learned some great skills so far. 

Some helpful items and tips:

• A learning tower. These are wonderful for allowing kids to be at counter level while being safe. The downside is that they can be very pricey. We bought THIS used one from my sister-in-law and love it, though it is rather large and heavy, so it stays in one corner of the kitchen rather than moving it around. Facebook Marketplace or other local buy/sell trade groups can have them. Pinterest has a ton of DIY ideas for the adventurous and crafty. 
• Safe cutting tools: Elliot started around two years old with chopping bananas, then moved on to other foods. I can't find the exact knife we used, but its the green serrated knife in THIS set, which has different knives for different ages. Elliot also likes using a butter knife and plastic knives, but of which are not sharp enough to cut. Obviously, any knife use requires constant supervision.
• An apron or smock to protect clothes from sauces that can stain if you're worried about that.
• A low table that he can get in and out of for his meals and playtime. We eat lunch and dinner at our main table and he has a stool for his chair, but during breakfast and snacks, he has his little table he can reach on his own. We love THIS set, but you can find more affordable options at garage sales, Facebook Marketplace, Kids Resale shops, etc. They are typically easy to find. Just make sure your child can plant their feet on the floor while sitting, so that you know they can independently get in and out of their seat and have less of a chance of falling over. 
• Small-sized cleaning tools like a broom and dustpan. We love THIS Melissa & Doug one. Makes cleaning somewhat fun! You can also buy a hand-held broom and dustpan set from Dollar Tree, which we bought prior to the Melissa & Doug set, which was gifted to him.
• A placemat with the silverware, plate, and cut outlined to make it easy for them to learn to set the table. I bought several blue ones from Dollar Tree and traced with a permanent marker. See below for photo.
• If preferred, setting up an IKEA play kitchen as a "functional" mini kitchen area for a child can be a great way to encourage independence in the kitchen. I did not do this, but have a friend who does & Elliot loves using the kitchen when he visits, washing his hands on his own. HERE is a video of what it can look like, from my favorite Montessori account on YouTube
• HERE is a great video on how to encourage toddlers and preschoolers to help in the kitchen, plus some easy recipes to make together
• Unloading the dishwasher is a fun thing to do together. THIS video goes through different Practical Life skills for toddlers and talks about how to teach this skill (among other great skills). I first remove anything sharp, then I place all of his items on the edge of the opened dishwasher door and he is in charge of carefully returning to its correct place on the bottom shelf of our pantry.
• Speaking of the bottom shelf in our pantry, Elliot can set the table for breakfast at his little table since everything he needs is in reach (see photo below)

BEDROOM

At around two-years old, I started working on increasing Elliot's independence with self-dressing and self-hygiene. We took baby steps, but he has made wonderful strides in self-care. What has helped: offering limited choices when he was young (I started with two outfit choices when he was 1-2 years old and he'd point to what he wanted to wear. Now he has about half of his weather-appropriate clothes available to pick from). He now can pull his own clothes off the rack and dress himself. There are a lot of (very expensive) Montessori wardrobes for helping toddlers access their clothes, but the easiest and cheapest option for me was simply lowering the existing closet clothes rack to his level. I rotate his clothes out every few weeks since he has a ton of hand-me-down t-shirts and tends to wear the same ones. But basically, he can choose what he wants to wear without much assistance. At floor level, I have baskets for pajamas, short pants, and long pants. I tie the pajama bottoms and top together so they can be easily grabbed independently. His pants are folded once in half, but they end up unfolded once he rifles through the basket to look for favorite pairs. I don't mind as long as they stay in the correct basket. He also has smaller baskets on a low shelf for socks, underwear, and slippers.

Some helpful items and tips:

• Large open baskets for organizing clothes in an easy-to-manage way for kids.
• A shatter-proof mirror on the wall to help with self-dressing (and admiring oneself, haha)
• Out-of-sight storage space for out-of-season clothes or to store extra clothes they're currently not wearing often (I donate whatever he repeatedly ignores when I rotate it back into his closet for him to access). Too many choices are overwhelming, especially in the morning!
• Low bed (that he can get in and out of independently) with a blanket he can easily put on his bed to "make" his bed (it's not the prettiest thing, but its a start!). His bed is a hand-me-down from family and was his crib but now has the front rail removed.
• A light switch extender so he can turn the light on and off in his room on his own.
• HERE is a great video on the Montessori wardrobe idea if that seems like a better option than using an existing closet. You can also search Pinterest for DIY versions of this for a less expensive version but recycling anything from a bookcase to a TV entertainment set. I was planning on doing this until I realized I could use his closet space by moving the rack/bar to a better height for him.
• HERE is a helpful video on teaching toddlers to self-dress. I used all of this with Elliot
• Kids can help with laundry, such as matching socks and returning folded clothes to their correct spot. If the closet area is set-up at their level and with open baskets/shelves, this becomes a breeze
• I made a Morning Checklist and Bedtime checklist  visual using Canva for Elliot with pictures of a potty, clothes, a bed, hands, etc. I have them taped to the bathroom mirror and his bedroom closet to help him remember his tasks. 

BATHROOM

At three-years old, Elliot can independently use the potty, wash hands, and brush teeth (all with gentle reminders). What has helped a lot in working on these skills is making everything accessible to him.

Some helpful items and tips:

• a high stool that allows the child to see themselves through the mirror at the sink. Don't feel you need to look for specific kid stools, any utility stool that you feel offers safe amount of height for your child will do. 
• either a step stool to reach a normal toilet or a low potty chair to allow independent potty use. THIS is ours, but you can definitely find cheaper options
• Soap that is easy to use (whether a bar of soap or liquid), a hand towel, and toothbrush in easy access. I still supervise him squeezing out the toothpaste for safety reasons, but otherwise, he can get up on his own and get ready for the day at the sink. 
• Pinterest is full of Montessori self-care DIY hacks if that's inspiring for you.  And HERE is a helpful video of setting up the bathroom. We have a small bathroom, so I didn't want any extra stuff crowding our limited space, so he just uses the normal sink, which he accesses with a stool. 
• When Elliot was younger and couldn't reach the sink, THIS sink extender was helpful for the water to reach his short little arms. 

I hope that was helpful! Start small, choose skills that are actually beneficial for your household and match your child's developmental stage, and be patient. It is worth it the hard work! Please share your own tips and resources below in comments. Or let me know if you'd like me clarify or add more information about anything!