frankly friday // link up
Today I am linking up with the fabulous Amy from
I just recently have gotten back into blogging and I have already realized one of the reasons I took a long hiatus. It's embarrassing & {humbling} to admit to it, so allow me to frankly share a bit of my heart on this Friday evening.
There are two unbiblical strongholds that tend to show up if I do not guard my heart and mind.
They have snuck their smelly, slimy heads into many facets of my daily walk.
They have snuck their smelly, slimy heads into many facets of my daily walk.
I am a people-pleaser and a perfection-seeker. Quite a lethal pair, wouldn't you say?
So when blogging is added into the mix, it only seems natural that I am tempted to increase my followers and comments, have a spiffy-looking layout that is the envy of the (digital) town, and feel that I need to always have something great to say.
Don't get me wrong, it is good thing to love people. It is also a good thing to want to work hard and improve. And blogging in and of itself is not wrong. But when my identity is found mainly in being accepted and loved by people instead of being accepted and loved by the Creator God . . . Houston, we've got a problem. On that same note, if my identity is grounded in always having the wittiest thing to say, wearing the hippest clothes, having the most interesting hobbies, or {dare I say it}, having the best blog on the neighborhood, then I am standing on shaky ground.
I will never please everyone. I know that. I've heard it many times.
I will never be perfect. Yup, I've heard that one too.
So why does the temptation to run after these two lies find a way into my heart and mind?
Why do I get dejected, anxious, and disheartened when I fail at making everyone happy or when I realize I have fallen short yet again?
It is because in those moments, I allow myself to step into an identity crisis. I allow these things to define me. I find my identity in wanting to be something I can never be, so the natural consequence is despair and anxiety. I make Man big and God small.
But Jesus desires something else for me {and you!}
I am a beloved child of God, made in His image. No part of creation other than humans can declare that! I am here on this earth to glorify and image Him. However, He does not expect perfection on this side of Heaven because we are not yet in a sinless state. So I do not owe Him perfection.
Instead, He wants my brokenness, honesty, humility, and trust.
When I am acting out of a perfection-seeking, people-pleasing state, I am bound to dependence on what others think of me. If I am accepted and applauded, I feel powerful and hopeful. Yet if I am rejected or ignored, I feel powerless and hopeless. My identity in these moments is as volatile and shifting as sand on a windy beach. It goes with the flow of my circumstances.
Is that why Jesus died on the cross? So I can cling to man's approval and live a life of constant struggle for approval and praise? Or did He die so that I can truly live a life of freedom found in Him?
A life that looks to Him first and foremost for approval.
A life that looks to Him as the only definition of Perfection.
A life that seeks the eyes of God instead of the eyes of man.
A life that is rooted in Christ rather than my own self.
For those who are in Christ, we are defined by Him. Period. Not by my own works but by Jesus.
So how does this apply to my blogging? I want to weigh each word I write in light of being identified as a child of God and saved by Jesus. Whether I write about traveling, lessons He is teaching me, or decorating my apartment. I do not want to find my worth in my ability to be witty or funny, nor in how many comments I receive. Instead, I will write out of a heart that is grounded on the eyes of my Jesus. . For only when He {and not Elena} is glorified, then my writing has worth and beauty.
"In Christ we have redemption through His blood,
the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace."
{ E p h e s i a n s 1 : 7 }
{1}
. it's your turn, friend .
girl.... YES! *high five* this post is amazing.
ReplyDeleteBecause you're being honest and real and completely transparent.
I'm a people pleaser-perfection seeker to an extent myself and i can see how it transfers over into the "blog world".
Very intentional questions for me to mull over!
Thanks for linking up!
Thanks, Amy! Yes, some days it is harder than others. I am praying about how to be intentional and have boundaries so that I don't fall into bad habits of blogging only for comments. There's just so much more joy when I write because God put something specific on my heart to share.
ReplyDeleteElena
Elena, this is SO good. I, too, am a people-pleaser and I've also struggled with perfection, too. You're so right in that blogging can easily turn into a competition or an idol. It's a struggle. But one of the things that keeps me grounded is the fact that my story is different than everyone else's and only I can tell my story.
ReplyDeleteGod wrote it, but it's my job to tell it. And whenever I compare myself with other people (whether they're friends, family, or other bloggers), I have to remember that I'm robbing them and myself of joy.
It's tough, though! It really is.
And that's why I'm so glad to surround myself with people who are devoted to sharing His love, shining His light, and sharing their stories.
Did I mention that you're included in that group? :)
Kiki, that is a GREAT point! Thank you! You are so right . . . It's our story that He has written within His greater story of His amazing Love. And yes! I have to also remember that same point, that when I compare myself (whether my looks, my blog, my singleness, etc) I am robbing myself of the joy of the moments that God has so graciously given me.
DeleteThis is absolutely awesome! Thanks for sharing it with me sweet girl:) You have a beautiful heart and spirit that so obviously wants to please God! I LOVE it! love Katie
ReplyDelete